Allison Kiewatt

Sophomore Reflection:

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There is often a lack of understanding from the public on why one would seek a college dance education and how post-secondary dance education within academic institutions differs from “just taking dance classes.” I, too, was unsure about how my dance journey would be impacted by embarking on a B.A. in dance. Before coming to Loyola University Chicago, I was primarily a competitive dancer with experience in musical theatre. At my local studio, I had the opportunity to learn from a variety of teachers each week in styles including ballet, contemporary, jazz, tap, pointe, and hip-hop. Although I loved performing so many styles of dance, I often felt like a master of none, and the continuous pressure of competing and auditioning muffled the value of dance as a vessel beyond a sport. Ultimately, I chose to come to Loyola to hone my ballet skills and develop modern dance knowledge in an environment where I was not only able, but encouraged, to explore dance as a tool for self-discovery and an initiator of social justice.

In the past two years, I have been working to dismantle my preconceptions of dance that were rooted in outdated societal standards and stereotypes. All of the Loyola Dance Faculty have emphasized their zero-tolerance policy for any type of discrimination, especially in terms of gender identity and body type. I will specifically remember Deborah Goodman laying the ground on the first day of classes that any fatphobic thinking will be left behind because it is rooted in racism and misogyny. When I left that class, I felt optimistic that the next four years were going to be positive and empowering. Also, by taking Dance History in Spring 2022 I became equipped with the context of these harmful standards. With this knowledge, I realized how superficial to the art form the concept of the so-called “ballet body” and extreme turnout truly is. Taking DANC 275 with Professor Vershawn Sanders-Ward was another especially transformative experience. By exploring dance through a contemporary global lens, I was introduced to the idea that dance can exist simultaneously as entertainment, exercise, meditation, community, and activism. Within that course, we completed an Artivist Project, a term coined by Sanders-Ward, in which we explored how dance could be a vehicle to validate and uplift a community. Through my research on Vogue dance and by listening to my classmates' presentations, I left with a newfound energy to lean on dance as a change-maker and the confidence to start conversations with local artists. Last, but most certainly not least, I wish to reflect upon the rehearsal and performance process of Missa Brevis. Performing this piece was a transformative experience. Perhaps it was the message of the piece, the community I danced with, or the angelic music. When we performed, I truly felt like we were moving as if conducted by a higher power, for the ability of a group of nearly thirty people to move harmoniously with incredible intricacy is hard to comprehend at a human level. The dance major has forced me to take risks and confront fears. For example, Modern 3 with Sarah Cullen Fuller has forced me to trust my strength and gravity, In her class, I have to sacrifice hesitation to move with the speed and fluency required to perform the movement safely and efficiently.

Loyola’s dance major has opened many doors of possibilities for dance in my life. I am not yet sure in which direction I plan to take my degree following graduation, but I have clear intentions for the way I approach dance. I seek to dance as a method of self-improvement and understanding, community connection, endurance-building, and as a creative outlet. I feel the most alive and connected to myself and those around me when I am dancing. In the remaining years at Loyola, I will cherish dance for the joy it brings to my life and the opportunities for growth and community that it promotes.

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Senior Year Reflection

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When I entered the Loyola Dance Program, I was an eager, nervous, and impressionable freshman. I recall my excitement to hone my ballet technique and dance in an environment filled with devoted young artists. However, I lacked confidence in my artistry because I was used to working in dance spaces where I was told exactly how to move to fit into a unified aesthetic and I was doubtful that I would enjoy historic modern dance techniques. As a senior, my eagerness to dance persists, I have gained confidence in my artistic thumbprint, and I am proud to say that not only do I enjoy modern dance, but it has become a cornerstone of my dance education at Loyola University Chicago. Between the program’s strategic curriculum, emphasis on “cura personalis”, and strong work ethic I share with my peers, I feel empowered to use dance as an avenue for a more just world and deeper connections to oneself and their community.

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Many of the experiences I reflected upon as a sophomore remain relevant to the trajectory of my growth, as they laid the foundation for the synthesis courses and rehearsal processes that have shaped my most recent semesters. One especially impactful class was DANC 370: Dance Composition taught by Dr. Amy Wilkinson. I found the course challenging because I was given the chance to have the most amount of creative freedom I had ever experienced while simultaneously holding a leadership position. In the beginning, I struggled with imposter syndrome and resisted exploring movement because I was fearful of “wasting” my cast members' time or holding “unproductive” rehearsals working on movement that may not end up in the piece. After three rehearsals working within a contemporary dance realm to a song that I had planned out ahead of time to a tee, I felt stuck and decided to meet with Dr. Amy. During our meeting, she encouraged me to let go of my preconceptions of the dance I “should” make, and give into my imagination. The next rehearsal I started from scratch with an idea for a theatrical dinnertime romp that became “Supper Thyme Swing.” Although I think my choreography has significant room for improvement, I am proud of myself for being vulnerable throughout the choreographic process and taking the risk to create from a place of joy rather than expectation. Dance Composition taught me much more than choreographic devices, I learned how to lead a creative process from inception to production, read and respond to the needs of the dancers I work with, and learn best practices for presenting work for feedback and giving feedback to one’s peers that I will carry with me into my future professional career. 

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Another aspect of my time at Loyola that has been integral to my professional development is DANC 323: Rehearsal and Performance. The Mainstage rehearsal processes require integrity, collaboration, and exemplary comportment to be successful, and I am very grateful for the chance to build these habits in a supportive educational environment. For instance, in Encounters With Light, I had the privilege of dancing the featured role in Martha Graham’s “Primitive Mysteries,” which led me to approach rehearsals from a new angle. Because of the limited timeframe and intricacy of the work, the bulk of the rehearsals were spent refining details in the ensemble movement rather than coaching the solo, which encouraged me to explore how I could get the most out of rehearsal even when the feedback was not specific to my choreography. To do so, I practiced the steps of sections I wasn’t in on the side to keep my stamina up and worked to relate the feedback given to the ensemble to the movement I would be performing. If I had mentally checked out during the times when I wasn’t being worked with directly, I would have missed out on many comments about the use of the breath, contractions, and transfer of weight that were essential to my performance. In all of the Mainstage rehearsal processes I have been involved in, community-driven excellence prevails. Dancing at Loyola has taught me that when everyone brings their full humanity to a creative process, a gracious and dependable community is formed and that is where the magic happens. Even in moments of burnout, I seek to retain integrity in my practice because I admire those in my community who do the same. 

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Between the summer and fall of 2024, I finally felt like I turned a corner and have learned how to better take care of myself in terms of nutrition and school/work/life balance. Now, I have more consistent energy, feel more mentally present, and experience minimal anxiety, and I cannot articulate how freeing that has been. My goal is to maintain the habits I have created so I can squeeze every ounce of learning, growth, and new experiences out of my final semester at Loyola. To maximize growth, I will challenge myself to be more vulnerable by allowing myself to be messy in pursuit of new knowledge. For example, I will be taking Jazz for the first time since high school, participating in Research and Dance for the first time, and tackling the Senior Solo Showcase. As I enter 2025, I will stay curious and leave the doors to all dance-related careers open.